One With Myself

I bang against the box I'm in. The world outside pushes the lid harder. I want to get the outside the box and stay true to myself but this world wants to break me. They've locked up my true self far away from me and all I can sense in me is their oppressing rules, custom and their herd like social customs. They've even given me different masks like the ones they wear on different occasions. They're so fake even they themselves do not know their real selves, hidden behind the thick layer of make believe...
Oh... I long for myself... My true self with all its earthiness and freedom. My self that cares, loves and shows affection... I long... Oh how I long to be one with myself again...

Listless

The cold morning showers signal the start of a new day ,

Its September again my favorite time of the year,

But I feel so restless, so listless,

Without the warmth of familiarity, all passed into the void,

Only he remains, the only shred of familiarity,

All is lost leaving me so listless,

As listless when I lost my first song I ever wrote,

Or being forgotten by my own in a huge crowd,

The sounds of the world going on as if nothing has happened,

Nothing really matters,

Muffles my tears, muffles my emotions, my so called extra baggage,

So listless without emotions, my heart can't take it anymore,

Somewhere along the way it died, leaving me cold and empty,

An empty shell, if the world outside is bleak,

Then the world inside is more painful with all the darkness of Hades,

I fail to belong in both like Hamlet not knowing where to turn,

Whom to believe, whose lies to ignore,

The truth is never revealed, when it is revealed…

It leaves me so listless and undecided,

Whether to stay or to leave this last fragment of sanity,

Familiarity exists only in fragments,

Only in his soul, his heart,

My only pantomime to the world,

Of all the things I hold sacred,

Only he remains…

My Heart

You've been biting bullets all these years, I know

There beside yourself, choking back tears

And you aced avoiding possibility

When you made your bed upon the bittersweet

Oh now don't you worry

There's no need to be sorry

There's still time to step lightly

Cos the love you used to feel is still in there, inside

It may be the faded photograph, the lock of hair, don't hide

If you're scared, I'm here to hold you,

                                                                   If you get lost I'm here to guide you

                                                                    Love is peace when peace is fragile

                                                                     Love is all the good in you that still remains

Love is peace when peace is fragile

You've been going out of way to agree

Like you've been rubbing yourself all wrong just to be somebody else's genie

Catering to your disasters every need

Waiting to finally be set free

I said baby don't worry

Life will carry

Just take it slowly

~Poets Of The Fall-Fragile

Call me crazy but my heart speaks to me; ever since I can remember. Instead of a prick of conscience I hear a gentle and soft voice which shields me from the world, the neglect and the aberration. Neglected by a world which knows no worth of mine she embraces me from inside, never leaving my side; gently chiding me if I forget here. She sits on my shoulder garbed in white, charcoal black hair and ever warm black eyes. As I cry to sleep at night she gently puts my head on her lap and gently sings me to sleep. Call me crazy if you want but I know my heart loves me...  

Memoirs Of The Wind: Gitana (Freedom)

I'm neck deep in the river...I have my daily baths here... I shudder as the cold water reaches towards me with frigid fingers... As the cold seeps in... Her face flashes to my mind...Even on sultry summer days when I passed over her, she would always be cold... I called her hitana... gypsy in Spanish... She never stayed in one place...never...Sometimes, I would touch her in the West, sometimes in the East, Once even in cold Norway... That woman was always a mystery to me... I saw her transition from childhood to adulthood...Her eyes and body were always cold but her heart flooded with warmth...Her eyes were like tempered steel... like strong sterling..All her life no one knew her worth...she was an amazing artist... drawing since she was two... She was unwanted and unloved by all but me...She was the only...She was the only woman who came close to being my mate.. But she died young at the age of eighteen... and I remember how I howled and moaned that day... Everyone at her funeral was amazed when they saw her body float up in mid-air...I confess that was my doing... I wanted to hold her in my arms and say goodbye.. I’ve never touched anyone like her... cold and warm at the same time....   

Memoirs Of The Wind: Nostalgia

I’m as old as time and this is the first time I’ve packed my bags and gone for a vacation to my grandmother’s house. Now many of you will roll your eyes and wonder what’s so great about going to your grandmother’s house and that you yourself went over on most summers... But what if you’re the wind??? What if you’re the breath of the world…? What if the world’s life stops if you stopped blowing for a moment...? And for the first time in history I was tired... So I begged God to freeze time for a few months and off I went...

Now as I lie in my grandmother’s lap listening to her treasure trove of stories with a mug of her famous hot chocolate... nostalgia hits me like a ton of bricks...

I couldn’t help but remember... help but remember... the places I’ve been, the people I’ve brushed... The first rain in the desert, drying the eyes of a crying child or playfully ruffling the hair of a beautiful child or playing with the pages of a book to lure a reading child to play....  

                        

Demons

Chorus:

Sleep,

In the form of,
Infernal fire,
Seeps through my soul,
As I lay down to sleep,
The demos come alive,
The demons in me,
Eating away at my soul,
Eating my soul away,
No one can save me,
From this Hades,
Oh...
Purgatory seems,
So much sweeter...

1st Verse

The chimera's eating my soul,
With great urgency,
While the basilisk's,
Yellow eyes turn me to stone,
Oh where's the warmth of the sun?
The warmth of sweet love's eyes,
Oh i can't see her,
Find her...

--Chorus--

2nd Verse:

It was sunshine when I last saw her,
Where is she now...
Oh where is she?
Oh heck!!
Where's everyone?
Where's the warmth of all those years?
Instead of warmth,
I feel cold fire,
Eating me away,
Eating me away,
Eating my soul...

--Chorus--

3rd Verse:

LEAVE ME,
LEAVE MY SOUL,
I DON'T WANNA BE THE DEVIL'S AGENT,
RETURN ME TO MY MORTALITY,
RETURN MY MORTALITY,
RETURN MY SOUL,
Oh Bring me back,
BRING ME BACK


--Chorus--

4th Verse:

Oh... I see her now,
See her beautiful face,
So beautiful,
But why is she crying,
And laying flowers on me,
Pretty red roses,
Oh I see now...
I'm stilled by Yuki's cold kiss,
I'm floating above,
Like some semi dead spirit,
Seeing my loved ones mourn for me,
OPEN YOUR EYES,
I say to my body,
In vain hope that I'll stir back to life,
Go back to the world,
And dry her tears...

--Chorus--

Yuki kōgō ryō heika (Snow Empress)

Swords flashed...Steel against steel...contention in the air...
She wiped her mouth with the end of her kimono sleeve...Blood in snow...she thought looking at it an indeed all around it was so... The claret of her opponents blood stark against the snow... This was the second time... This was the second time they had nearly got her life...
So much for being the empress... She picked up her sword and wiped it... Japan has never seen so many wars before... My husband...He died...So I took over the reigns and became empress... Now, my kingdom has been defeated by invading armies from the west... And I'm in exile... At least that's what the king promised... Being a brave Samurai I did not give up my throne easily...He wanted to slash my throat and end my life... But my ever loyal subjects fearing for my life convinced him to only exile me and he should spare m life and I'll never come back to the kingdom... I've kept my promise of not going back to Toyonokuni... But he hasn't kept his promise... His assassins have followed me here...all the way to Hiroshima...
She gently put her sword back in its cover... and got on her horse... her ever loyal 'Yuki no kesshō (Snow Crystal)' she had christened him... It was his neighing which had alerted her in the first place... They rode slowly ahead like serene nomads... The empress' raven hair fluttered around her ivory face... her scarlet lips a starkly prominent... Her face as dignified as ever... Imperious Empress... swift hand... swift blows... grace of a swan...  
     

Poison People

Look around you while walking on a busy urban street...More often than not you will come across a type of 'point and laugh' people whom I would like to call the mockers... They think they are the framers of society... They're the ones who think that they make the rules... That they're the ones who can decide whether a person is socially in or not... They think its in their power to outcast people  they don't like over frivolous things like the way they dress or the way they talk (here I mean if someone doesn't know a language well enough, and obviously cuss word slingers are almost worshiped).... To name a few views, they think people who don't cake their faces with makeup are ugly but the ones who do are called slags... Really you must have heard the story of the man, his horse and his wife... The same applies here but unfortunately no one stands up to these poisonous snakes... For that's what they are...Behind their pretty plastic faces lie a dark insecurity, a dark desire to taunt... And the ones who do try to stand up to them, they throw dust in all of  society and outcasts them... I have noticed, many of the intellectuals and artists have always been outcasts starting from Galileo to Monet... Strange is the world... Ever paying attention and importance to frivolity and plasticity...

The Psycho-kinetic

"Has no one taught you?" the slender girl said softly as she stood up from the pool of her blood, "Not to mess with a psycho-kinetic?" The lady in front of her took a step back, the sound of her high heels echoing in the dark... "Now where did you shoot me?" she said softly as if she was talking to herself. The lady watched in amazement as a bullet suddenly jutted out the girl's stomach high in the air. As the girl drew herself up, she could feel the amount of energy in the quiet street, and suddenly she was afraid, very afraid. The bullet was hurled away by the girl, without touching it.... The girl's wrath was evident as she spread out her hands like talons behind her and the ground started moving in a crescent shape around her, the earthy column raised itself to a few hundred feet menacingly behind her and she shouted, "WHO SENT YOU HERE?"
As the writhing mass of earth rushed towards the lady slashed at it with her large claws which had sprouted from her knuckles... 'What level is she?' she thought frantically...Herman said Tasha was an easy assignment as she was only a child... but we were so wrong... 
"WHO SENT YOU HERE?" Tasha bellowed, her ianthine eyes glowing with anger. Fueled with her anger she ripped bricks from the nearby buildings, streetlights and all...  She suspended them inches above her and said softly, "Now now, if you're not going to relent we will have to do it the hard way..."

Insensitivity (A sharp look at today's social mentality)

We all live

We all die

That does not begin to justify you

~Evanescence-Bleed~

So we've progressed into the 21st century with our new and advanced technologies... and modern ways of thinking... Now for a moment let's stop the world... sit down with our bare selves... And ask ourselves the simple question... Do we really mean what we say and do we really say what we mean?... Are we actually doing what we say?... Do we do things after logical analysis or are we just animals following our impulses and satisfying our regressive egos? Do we take time before a decision? Do we take to think before telling a person something?

Insensitivity is a growing trend... Most think this is due to fashion trend and blame the youth of today as they believe the kids have no value system... while I believe that insensitivity has always been a part of society... like intolerance and lack of freedom of expression... No the conservative old man/woman you can't judge a person's worth without knowing him/her... you're not God and you definitely do not have the right to instigate a person further... If you're only there to mock and laugh at a person's suffering and pain and cannot acknowledge a human being's value of life and right to privacy and expression then I suggest you leave the person in question alone... Rather than instigate to them to take their life...

I guess... society is generally made up of a bunch of invisible 'they'. 'THEY'... almost every adult wonders what 'they' would say if they or their kin behaved and acted in a certain way.... And 'God Forbid' if 'THEY' say bad stuff about you and think badly of you... It would surely be the end of the world... Surely my son/daughter should even have matching 'social' thoughts and way of dressing... We wouldn't be accepted in society and would be outcasts... I ask a daring question here. What if your child's views are different from this herd mentality  and what if they want to be true to themselves... Would you allow it? or would you force your rules and regulations on the child... I believe many do... they're insensitive and wouldn't accept the fact that even their children go through pain but are not willing to admit it as the thought doesn't massage their egos... The kids recoil in fright and try harder to please but in the end... end up harming themselves and increase their pain hundredfold...